I knw i've got a very bad past.
But those are the things that made me who i am today.
I always believe if the person truely loves you,
no matter what shitty past you've had they will just get over it
cos they love you for who you are NOW not the PAST.
But well, the person you love may not love you that much too.

slept at 5am and woke up at 12:30pm for work today.
Whole mind filled was with him.
What he said to me, it was really hurtful and i donno what the fuck was i even thinking,
i can still talked to him
if i really fucking could i wont let those stuff happen to me dudeThose past kept haunting me and no one knows how bad it feels.

My back hurts like mad.
the spine area not sure why is it like this but i'm worried.
am i gonna be paralys?
sooooo sleepy yet need to wake up at 4 plus tml for attachment.

I may look unaffected but seriously i'm bloody hell affected by it.
i should have know from the
start this was going to happened.
shouldn't even have high hopes
should keep telling myself he's playing with me.
nothing he said means anything.
And i meant nth to him at all.....
BUT i kept falling into the trap
falling deeper and deeper
i love him.

yes i do,
and i'm feeling so guilty from it.
he's going to lie to me
he will................