reflection...

this is the second post....

while roller blading was talking wit apple how long will we be tgt thn i said in a relationship its not one side its two side both of us has to play a part to maintain this relationship both of us had alot of bad past especially mine ppl like to take the past out to say you'll thn have to really have determination to really dun believe them cox they will say til its so real and when you fall into their trap *POOF* our relationship will be gone down the drain.. apple say he will really change and i believe him.. and i hope he will...and i have a secret for apple but he will only knw when he wants to marry me which is like kinda damn long huh? haas.. let me juz hope this will come true...

seriously i've been thinkin bout my past.. sometimes i really wonder how did i manage to get thru wit so many things?? i dun wish to post it out if you are shiao tong*he is the one tat is always willing to listen to my nonsense and everything*..grace.. gail. ivon.. qi.. maybe rachh.. galvin.. rayner.. you all will knw wat i went thru.. maybe if i haven been strong enuff and without my friends support i might have juz kill myself.. tats why for me i think my friends are impt thn my family cox my family was nt there whn i needed them.. but now my apple is also very impt to me.. i need someone who really trust..love..pamper..respect me whole heartedly this is really wat i wan*.. dun lie to me or hide things from me... and i found him.. my apple.. even tot he do hide things from me but i still knw eventually.. to be honest i do have ex which is like apple.. but i didnt knw how to hold on to relationship so now i really juz wanna be wit apple.. and i'll hold on until he dun love me anymore which i hope it wont happen?dear.. i want both of us to treasure each other ok... i sometimes wonder why do i have to been thru all those problems and now i knw why.. after going thru all those things i now knw how to react when things dun go my way.. and wat i should do when something similiar happen.. everynight i slp there are flash back of my past sometime i juz could not help but start cryin.. it realli hurts alot alot...

i love my apple~